Why IS Jesus wearing Abe Lincoln's hat?

One morning at breakfast, my daughter asked me why God was wearing Abe Lincoln's hat. I told her that first of all it is Jesus, not God (not really feeling like discussing the doctrine of the Trinity with a six year-old at 9 am). I also told her that it only looked like Jesus was wearing Abe's hat because of where she was in relation to where Abe and Jesus were, and because Abe's hat was taller than Jesus, and Jesus was in front of Abe. So, later on this evening, I was sitting on the couch and noticed that Jesus actually IS wearing Abe's hat. Could it be a miracle? Maybe Jesus felt like he was in need of a 19th century fashion update. Clearly I'd rather not entertain the more likely scenario.

At any rate, all of this got me thinking about religion and my children. I really think they need to go to Vacation Bible school this summer. I think that they should know the basics of Christianity, whether they choose to buy it or not. My children should definitely know who Jesus is (was?). And, not in the, "Do you know Jesus?" or "Have you heard about Jesus?" or "What has Jesus done in your life?" way. But, the historical Jesus. They should at least recognize him (or Him?) and know the stories. Christianity is a dominant, or probably THE dominant part of Western culture whether we realize it or not, go to church or not, buy into it or not. At the very least, we should know the background and all of the events good or bad that have happened in his (His?) name until the present day.

Day-Old Baked Goods

In the past when I would go to King Soopers, my children would be yelling "Cookie, cookie, cookie!!!" for the free cookies that they offered. I would, on occasion, sneak one and look around suspiciously for a King Soopers employee to reprimand me. (Like they give a flying f@#*). But, now I have discovered the "Day-Old Baked Goods" section. It is freakin' unbelievable!!! They have lemon crunch cakes, Black Forest cakes, cookies with frosting, donuts with sprinkles, cupcakes with sprinkles, etc with sprinkles. And they are all HALF OFF!!! Each time I go into the store, I vow I'm not going to look at what they have. But, like the Sirens' Song I go and pick a delectable treat every time. So, thank you King Soopers for making my ass grow exponentially in size. I have to blame someone for it, and it sure as hell isn't going to be me.

Gertie Culpepper

Gertie Culpepper is my alter ego/avatar that I have been using for years for my Pogo Euchre games and fictitious sign-on names for the various scams I have signed up for. Who is Gertie Culpepper anyway? Gertie is perhaps a sexy librarian or maybe a middle-aged 300lb matronly woman from Alabama/Mississippi? Hmmm....maybe both? Gertie definitely should have red hair. Short, red, curly hair similar to Annie's but maybe a teensy bit longer. And freckles. It is physiologically impossible to have red hair and no freckles. Well, anyway, Gertie isn't me. But, some days I wish she were, whoever she is.