Day-Old Baked Goods

In the past when I would go to King Soopers, my children would be yelling "Cookie, cookie, cookie!!!" for the free cookies that they offered. I would, on occasion, sneak one and look around suspiciously for a King Soopers employee to reprimand me. (Like they give a flying f@#*). But, now I have discovered the "Day-Old Baked Goods" section. It is freakin' unbelievable!!! They have lemon crunch cakes, Black Forest cakes, cookies with frosting, donuts with sprinkles, cupcakes with sprinkles, etc with sprinkles. And they are all HALF OFF!!! Each time I go into the store, I vow I'm not going to look at what they have. But, like the Sirens' Song I go and pick a delectable treat every time. So, thank you King Soopers for making my ass grow exponentially in size. I have to blame someone for it, and it sure as hell isn't going to be me.

Gertie Culpepper

Gertie Culpepper is my alter ego/avatar that I have been using for years for my Pogo Euchre games and fictitious sign-on names for the various scams I have signed up for. Who is Gertie Culpepper anyway? Gertie is perhaps a sexy librarian or maybe a middle-aged 300lb matronly woman from Alabama/Mississippi? Hmmm....maybe both? Gertie definitely should have red hair. Short, red, curly hair similar to Annie's but maybe a teensy bit longer. And freckles. It is physiologically impossible to have red hair and no freckles. Well, anyway, Gertie isn't me. But, some days I wish she were, whoever she is.